The Graven Groan

The Graven Groan

by Charles E S Fairey

I found myself haunted in a bottomless dark abode

I looked out and only saw the world of you,

I tried to climb but found a paralysis like sleep

For I had entered the grave, ever so deep.

My eyes were not eyes but blackened sockets

My limbs seemed motionless and cold

My spirit seemed empty and without form

I felt like I had existed but never been born.

I could see those shadows of the Other

Walk over my void trapped remains,

They walked over me looking for something

But that something was not me but another thing.

I felt ignored by the world which had once embraced me

I felt outcast by the world above I had hoped to attain,

I felt I had been left in this bottomless grave

And lied to by those who taught of he whom saves.

For I had been set adrift upon a dark eternal night of longing

Set into a motionless mould of that which I once was,

Yet still I feel an emotional sense of wanting to belong

Yet the words I wanted to utter were useless without a tongue.

Here I thought I will remain forever and ever

Alone in a world of motionless boredom like terror,

All those things I had done, I had eternity to mull over

And all the hatred of mine actions to shoulder.

Why did I not see that if I had seen this mine own sepulchre

In that life I led when once above this self induced abyss,

Then maybe upon Death's form I would have taken note

And never have had to this warning, take to and now wrote.

Yet why am I here writing so, here from deep deep down below

Surely I am still beneath this heavy tomb of hallowed earth,

In this my own self induced dark entombed

Yet something helped me and in me bloomed.

For the longer I waited and thought and dreamed

The insects and fungi and roots entwined,

And somehow they pulled me from my dreamlike slumber

And my mind woke from its death-like state all a'sunder.

And now I'm among the birds and the sky

And now I survey all that which was long ago,

All of which I had held onto dear, but now I have let go of all my fear

And now I'm free of all life's sin, once I was there, yet no longer here.

But here I am in the after, the time which knows no sand

Learning that which I had seldom been taught,

And that which I now am, a part of all things ever known

No longer just a motionless corpse of everlasting bone.