The Graven Groan
The Graven Groan
by Charles E S Fairey
I found myself haunted in a bottomless dark abode
I looked out and only saw the world of you,
I tried to climb but found a paralysis like sleep
For I had entered the grave, ever so deep.
My eyes were not eyes but blackened sockets
My limbs seemed motionless and cold
My spirit seemed empty and without form
I felt like I had existed but never been born.
I could see those shadows of the Other
Walk over my void trapped remains,
They walked over me looking for something
But that something was not me but another thing.
I felt ignored by the world which had once embraced me
I felt outcast by the world above I had hoped to attain,
I felt I had been left in this bottomless grave
And lied to by those who taught of he whom saves.
For I had been set adrift upon a dark eternal night of longing
Set into a motionless mould of that which I once was,
Yet still I feel an emotional sense of wanting to belong
Yet the words I wanted to utter were useless without a tongue.
Here I thought I will remain forever and ever
Alone in a world of motionless boredom like terror,
All those things I had done, I had eternity to mull over
And all the hatred of mine actions to shoulder.
Why did I not see that if I had seen this mine own sepulchre
In that life I led when once above this self induced abyss,
Then maybe upon Death's form I would have taken note
And never have had to this warning, take to and now wrote.
Yet why am I here writing so, here from deep deep down below
Surely I am still beneath this heavy tomb of hallowed earth,
In this my own self induced dark entombed
Yet something helped me and in me bloomed.
For the longer I waited and thought and dreamed
The insects and fungi and roots entwined,
And somehow they pulled me from my dreamlike slumber
And my mind woke from its death-like state all a'sunder.
And now I'm among the birds and the sky
And now I survey all that which was long ago,
All of which I had held onto dear, but now I have let go of all my fear
And now I'm free of all life's sin, once I was there, yet no longer here.
But here I am in the after, the time which knows no sand
Learning that which I had seldom been taught,
And that which I now am, a part of all things ever known
No longer just a motionless corpse of everlasting bone.